Dear Gelai,
Siguro ngayon napapaisip ka, bakit kaya ako binigyan ng mokong na yun ng sulat? Love leter ba ‘to o suicide note? Ako sa totoo lang, di ko alam. Baka parehas. Love letter kasi wala naman ibang laman ang sulat na ‘to maliban sa bagay na alam mo na. Na mahal na mahal kita. Suicide note kasi di ko alam kung paano mo tatanggapin ang pagtatapat ko sayo. Natatakot ako na kamatayan na ‘to, ng kung ano mang namamagitan satin na ang tagal-tagal ko nang pinagpapagurang itayo. Sana hindi naman.
Hindi ko alam kung maiintindihan mo pero lumalaban rin lang ako sa kung anong mahalaga para sakin. Ikaw yun. At ang nararamdaman ko para sayo.
Alam mo sa URCC, ang pakikipaglaban puno lagi ng dugo at mga sugat. Pero may laban pala na kahit walang dugo mas masakit, mas nakamamatay. Yung laban na walang nakakakita, walang nanonood. Pero yun ang laban na sinusuong ko araw-araw kapag nakikita kita. At kahit mamatay ako ng ilang milyong beses para sayo, masaya kong gagawin yun. Kasi Gelai, sa laban na yun nararamdaman ko na buhay ako. Buhay ako para sa pagmamahal. Ang baduy man pakinggan pero dun ako sa totoo lang.
Bahala na. Pag lumalaban ka naman, gagawin mo lahat para manalo diba?
-Caloy
*The letter above came from the series "Magkaribal". It's so painful and emotional that I have to repost it.
***
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
24
When I was still studying, mixed emotions ako kapag dumarating ang month ng June. Right after June, July na ang sunod. July is my month. July 08 kasi ang birth date ko eh. July 8, 1986 to be exact.
Today is my special day. I turned 24 today. And because I turned a year older today, let’s make a little assessment. Paano ko ba ma-aasess ang sarili ko from the past 24 years of my life?
Umpisahan natin on the physical side. I gained a lot of weight. Lalo na nowadays that I am working na. Nakahiligan ko kasing kumain everytime I am stressed sa trabaho. Before kasi when I was on my third year in high school, I lose a lot of weight because of the CAT training. But now, I really gained a lot, as in a lot. Imagine, hindi ko na kailangang partneran ng belt ang mga pants which I don’t usually do. I need to lose weight. Plano ko na dati yun. Lagi yang una sa aking list of New Year’s Resolution. I tried to lose weight na din kaso lagi akong talo sa tandem nina “diet” and “discipline”.
I became mature when it comes to social interaction. Madali kong nakakasundo ang mga tao sa paligid ko, sa workplace man or sa ordinary place. Ginagamitan ko lang ng proper timing at charm. Kapag hindi ka kasi natututong makibagay sa iba’t ibang tao, ikaw lang din ang mahihirapan. Pinag-aralan ko yun and tingin ko, successful naman ako. With the use of different social networking sites, nagkaroon ako ng easy access sa mga long time friends ko. Surprisingly, just this year, I attended our Elementary, High School and College reunions. Kulang na lang, pati preschool friends ko eh hagilapin ko for us to catch things up.
Emotionally speaking, mas naging broad-minded ako. I don’t entertain emotions or feelings na alam kong hindi naman kailangan. As of the moment, wala pa rin akong girlfriend. May pinormahan ako pero nasa healing stage pa sya at mukhang hindi pa ready tumanggap ng suitors. So we ended up constantly texting each other na lang. I also let go my feelings to my beloved Physiological Psychology professor. Ako naman ang nahihirapan eh, hindi sya. Now, may nirereto sa akin yung isa kong colleague. Sana maging kami.
Honestly speaking, mas napadalas ang pagpunta ko sa church lalo na last year because of my eldest sister. She keeps on nagging me to go to church. To say thank you to Him. Pero, honestly speaking ulit, nakakalimutan ko pa ding magdasal every night bago matulog. Inaamin ko yan. And I’m sure, lahat naman tayo ay may ganyang kasalanan sa Kanya.
Masaya ang buhay. Masaya ang first 24 years of my life.
Salamat sa lahat ng naging part ng 24 years ko.
Salamat sa Kanya.
Salamat sa family and relatives ko.
Salamat sa mga kaibigan ko.
Salamat sa lahat ng nakapaligid sa akin, nakikita ko man or hindi.
Salamat kay Nanay for preparing the menudo that I brought today to the office for my colleagues.
Salamat kay Ella. Sya kasi ang earliest greeter. She’s greeted me last July 1, a day before the birthday of her habibi.
Salamat sa lahat ng naka-alala at hindi naka-alala.
Salamat sa lahat ng nangungulit ng blow-out.
Salamat sa’yo kasi I expected na you will greet me.
Salamat sa buhay.
***
Today is my special day. I turned 24 today. And because I turned a year older today, let’s make a little assessment. Paano ko ba ma-aasess ang sarili ko from the past 24 years of my life?
Umpisahan natin on the physical side. I gained a lot of weight. Lalo na nowadays that I am working na. Nakahiligan ko kasing kumain everytime I am stressed sa trabaho. Before kasi when I was on my third year in high school, I lose a lot of weight because of the CAT training. But now, I really gained a lot, as in a lot. Imagine, hindi ko na kailangang partneran ng belt ang mga pants which I don’t usually do. I need to lose weight. Plano ko na dati yun. Lagi yang una sa aking list of New Year’s Resolution. I tried to lose weight na din kaso lagi akong talo sa tandem nina “diet” and “discipline”.
I became mature when it comes to social interaction. Madali kong nakakasundo ang mga tao sa paligid ko, sa workplace man or sa ordinary place. Ginagamitan ko lang ng proper timing at charm. Kapag hindi ka kasi natututong makibagay sa iba’t ibang tao, ikaw lang din ang mahihirapan. Pinag-aralan ko yun and tingin ko, successful naman ako. With the use of different social networking sites, nagkaroon ako ng easy access sa mga long time friends ko. Surprisingly, just this year, I attended our Elementary, High School and College reunions. Kulang na lang, pati preschool friends ko eh hagilapin ko for us to catch things up.
Emotionally speaking, mas naging broad-minded ako. I don’t entertain emotions or feelings na alam kong hindi naman kailangan. As of the moment, wala pa rin akong girlfriend. May pinormahan ako pero nasa healing stage pa sya at mukhang hindi pa ready tumanggap ng suitors. So we ended up constantly texting each other na lang. I also let go my feelings to my beloved Physiological Psychology professor. Ako naman ang nahihirapan eh, hindi sya. Now, may nirereto sa akin yung isa kong colleague. Sana maging kami.
Honestly speaking, mas napadalas ang pagpunta ko sa church lalo na last year because of my eldest sister. She keeps on nagging me to go to church. To say thank you to Him. Pero, honestly speaking ulit, nakakalimutan ko pa ding magdasal every night bago matulog. Inaamin ko yan. And I’m sure, lahat naman tayo ay may ganyang kasalanan sa Kanya.
Masaya ang buhay. Masaya ang first 24 years of my life.
Salamat sa lahat ng naging part ng 24 years ko.
Salamat sa Kanya.
Salamat sa family and relatives ko.
Salamat sa mga kaibigan ko.
Salamat sa lahat ng nakapaligid sa akin, nakikita ko man or hindi.
Salamat kay Nanay for preparing the menudo that I brought today to the office for my colleagues.
Salamat kay Ella. Sya kasi ang earliest greeter. She’s greeted me last July 1, a day before the birthday of her habibi.
Salamat sa lahat ng naka-alala at hindi naka-alala.
Salamat sa lahat ng nangungulit ng blow-out.
Salamat sa’yo kasi I expected na you will greet me.
Salamat sa buhay.
***
Chelsea!!! Nag-iisa ka!!!
Marlon Camerino: lam mo ba, si chelsea.
Marlon Camerino: nalungkot knnang umaga.
Marlon Camerino: lam mo kung bakit???
Cherrie Abalos: baket
Marlon Camerino: pde kang humula ng tatlong beses. game!
Cherrie Abalos: kasi walang nagpunta sa mga for interview nya?
Marlon Camerino: wrong.
Cherrie Abalos: ano nga? sabihin mo na lang. wala ako maisip
Cherrie Abalos: teka
Cherrie Abalos: ikakasal na ex nya?
Marlon Camerino: wrong.
Cherrie Abalos: ano nga?
Marlon Camerino: eto naman.
Marlon Camerino: eto na, kc wla syang FB notifications.
Cherrie Abalos: awwwwwwww
Marlon Camerino: atat p nman 'to evry morning magbukas ng FB.
Marlon Camerino: pagcheck nya knna, wala!!!
Cherrie Abalos: pero ganyan din naman ako
Cherrie Abalos: knina nga 3notifications lang saken
Cherrie Abalos: hehe.. pero hindi naman ako masyadong affected. sya ba?
Marlon Camerino: tamang afected lang.
Cherrie Abalos: natawa naman ako
Cherrie Abalos: sabi ko na mababaw lang eh
Marlon Camerino: tps eto pa, pag nagppost sya sa wall tps wlang nagcocoment, binubura nya ung pinost nya...
Cherrie Abalos: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Cherrie Abalos: nakakaloka talaga yang kaibigan mo
Marlon Camerino: ndi sya natutuwa kpag ni-like mo lng ung post. dpat magccomment ka...
Cherrie Abalos: nyhahahahahahaha
Cherrie Abalos: grabe
Marlon Camerino: hahahahaha.. lokoloko 'tong si chelsea eh.
Marlon Camerino: trabaho!!!
Cherrie Abalos: go
Marlon Camerino: nalungkot knnang umaga.
Marlon Camerino: lam mo kung bakit???
Cherrie Abalos: baket
Marlon Camerino: pde kang humula ng tatlong beses. game!
Cherrie Abalos: kasi walang nagpunta sa mga for interview nya?
Marlon Camerino: wrong.
Cherrie Abalos: ano nga? sabihin mo na lang. wala ako maisip
Cherrie Abalos: teka
Cherrie Abalos: ikakasal na ex nya?
Marlon Camerino: wrong.
Cherrie Abalos: ano nga?
Marlon Camerino: eto naman.
Marlon Camerino: eto na, kc wla syang FB notifications.
Cherrie Abalos: awwwwwwww
Marlon Camerino: atat p nman 'to evry morning magbukas ng FB.
Marlon Camerino: pagcheck nya knna, wala!!!
Cherrie Abalos: pero ganyan din naman ako
Cherrie Abalos: knina nga 3notifications lang saken
Cherrie Abalos: hehe.. pero hindi naman ako masyadong affected. sya ba?
Marlon Camerino: tamang afected lang.
Cherrie Abalos: natawa naman ako
Cherrie Abalos: sabi ko na mababaw lang eh
Marlon Camerino: tps eto pa, pag nagppost sya sa wall tps wlang nagcocoment, binubura nya ung pinost nya...
Cherrie Abalos: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Cherrie Abalos: nakakaloka talaga yang kaibigan mo
Marlon Camerino: ndi sya natutuwa kpag ni-like mo lng ung post. dpat magccomment ka...
Cherrie Abalos: nyhahahahahahaha
Cherrie Abalos: grabe
Marlon Camerino: hahahahaha.. lokoloko 'tong si chelsea eh.
Marlon Camerino: trabaho!!!
Cherrie Abalos: go
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I Am a Frustrated Radio DJ
You can see at my profile that I am a “frustrated Radio DJ”. Admittedly, yes, I am. Ewan ko ba. Sa dinami-rami ng magiging frustration sa buhay, maging isang Radio DJ ang gusto ko. Ok, wag na natin sabihing “frustration” yung pagiging Radio DJ. Sabihin na nating dream job or dream career ko yun.
Paano ba pumasok sa isip ko ang maging isang Radio DJ?
Simple lang, mahilig kasi akong makinig ng radyo.
Paano ako nahilig making ng radyo?
Simple lang ulit, I’ve been influenced by my family and peer unintentionally.
I grew up listening to radio. Lagi kasing nakikinig ang mga ate ko ng radyo. Favorite radio station nila ang Mellow Touch 94.7 (na ngayon ay Mellow 947) because their playing mellow songs alinsunod sa pangalan ng station nila. But then again they switch na into contemporary genres of music na.
Napabarkada din ako sa mahihilig din sa mga music, updated man or outdated.
As time goes by, nagkaroon na rin ako ng sariling preference sa mga radio station na gusto kong pakinggan kasabay ng pagpili ng type of music na trip kong pakinggan.
Nag-eenjoy ako kapag naririnig ko ang boses ni Anne with her co-breakfast duo Jada both from Wave 891. Anne was first partnered with Rye while Jada was with Jason and Eri on their evening show. Both Rye and Jason transferred to U92. Kailan lang naging Wave 891 ang Wave 891 because before, they call their station Wave 89.1. They played mostly RnB songs that’s why they tag themselves as “The Most Influential RnB Station”.
Background ko sina Mo, Mojo and Grace Lee every morning kapag hindi ko gusto ang mga tugtog or discussion sa Wave 891. These guys were jocks from Magic 89.9. They were in charge of their program Good Times. Grace Lee was not the original female host of the show. Andi-9 came first substituted by Maui Taylor then Grace Lee. They talked and discuss anything under the sun. Boys Night Out composed of Slick Rick, Tony Toni and Sam YG was part of Magic 89.9.
I also enjoyed listening to Rain of 103.5 Max FM every night on my way home. Her original partner was Johny Chase but for some important reason, they were separated and have their own corresponding shows.
Minsan na din akong na-inlove sa boses ni Delamar of Monster Radio RX 93.1. She is with Chico for their Morning Rush show, the rival show of Mo’s Good Times.
When I want to listen to mellow and classis songs, I always tune-in to Chloe of 96.3 Easy Rock which is originally 96.3 Lite Rock.
Siguro, isa rin sila sa dahilan kung bakit nakahiligan ko ang pakikinig ko sa radyo and why I am dying to be a Radio DJ.
Pero kung hahanapan nyo ko ng malalim na dahilan kung bakit ko gustong maging isang RADIO DJ, wala.
***
Paano ba pumasok sa isip ko ang maging isang Radio DJ?
Simple lang, mahilig kasi akong makinig ng radyo.
Paano ako nahilig making ng radyo?
Simple lang ulit, I’ve been influenced by my family and peer unintentionally.
I grew up listening to radio. Lagi kasing nakikinig ang mga ate ko ng radyo. Favorite radio station nila ang Mellow Touch 94.7 (na ngayon ay Mellow 947) because their playing mellow songs alinsunod sa pangalan ng station nila. But then again they switch na into contemporary genres of music na.
Napabarkada din ako sa mahihilig din sa mga music, updated man or outdated.
As time goes by, nagkaroon na rin ako ng sariling preference sa mga radio station na gusto kong pakinggan kasabay ng pagpili ng type of music na trip kong pakinggan.
Nag-eenjoy ako kapag naririnig ko ang boses ni Anne with her co-breakfast duo Jada both from Wave 891. Anne was first partnered with Rye while Jada was with Jason and Eri on their evening show. Both Rye and Jason transferred to U92. Kailan lang naging Wave 891 ang Wave 891 because before, they call their station Wave 89.1. They played mostly RnB songs that’s why they tag themselves as “The Most Influential RnB Station”.
Background ko sina Mo, Mojo and Grace Lee every morning kapag hindi ko gusto ang mga tugtog or discussion sa Wave 891. These guys were jocks from Magic 89.9. They were in charge of their program Good Times. Grace Lee was not the original female host of the show. Andi-9 came first substituted by Maui Taylor then Grace Lee. They talked and discuss anything under the sun. Boys Night Out composed of Slick Rick, Tony Toni and Sam YG was part of Magic 89.9.
I also enjoyed listening to Rain of 103.5 Max FM every night on my way home. Her original partner was Johny Chase but for some important reason, they were separated and have their own corresponding shows.
Minsan na din akong na-inlove sa boses ni Delamar of Monster Radio RX 93.1. She is with Chico for their Morning Rush show, the rival show of Mo’s Good Times.
When I want to listen to mellow and classis songs, I always tune-in to Chloe of 96.3 Easy Rock which is originally 96.3 Lite Rock.
Siguro, isa rin sila sa dahilan kung bakit nakahiligan ko ang pakikinig ko sa radyo and why I am dying to be a Radio DJ.
Pero kung hahanapan nyo ko ng malalim na dahilan kung bakit ko gustong maging isang RADIO DJ, wala.
***
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)